Month: September 2018

The other day a friend reminded me that it was Juliet Prowse’s birthday and we shared some memories of what an amazingly talented dancer and performer she was.  I also remember from working with her how kind and gracious she was.  There was the time in her dressing room in Las Vegas between shows when Elvis showed up to see her.  Of course we were all hanging around her dressing room lounge area and I still remember Juliet admonishing Elvis if he was really taking all the vitamins she had had given him.  “Yes, mam” was all he replied as he hung his head with embarrassment because we all knew he wasn’t taking them.

I was also lucky enough at the age of twenty to travel to South Africa with her show in 1977 to perform in Johannesburg and Cape Town.  I’ll never forget flying into Johannesburg and seeing the rich deep red clay soil mixed with the white stucco houses with red clay tile roofs and all of the blooming purple jacaranda trees – really beautiful!

And there was the time in Cape Town, which I thought looked a lot like San Diego, when I visited a guy who had a tomato farm up in the hills outside of town.  As we stood in his field eating big tomatoes off the vine we looked out and I could see where the Indian and the Atlantic Oceans merged off the cape. I could clearly see the different colors of the water bumping up against each other.  Also, really beautiful.

But for all of the county’s natural beauty, we were there during the period of apartheid and to me being a young white guy from suburbia Orange County it was truly an eye opening experience.  In Johannesburg we played in a huge tent theater, but having already worked the tent theater at the Sacramento Music Circus I knew my way around.  But I found the African crew members didn’t quite know what to make of this young white guy who pitched in and worked alongside them.  I came to find out that was not the typical way things worked there.

The terrible toll of apartheid really struck me late one night after a show when I was walking through downtown outside our hotel.  I saw the garbage truck driving down the street picking up the trash – except the truck never stopped.  It just slowed down a little bit and the African crew who were emptying the cans into the truck had to run to keep up.  The truck kept moving and the crew had to keep running just to stay up.  I realized that if they didn’t, they would lose their job and their permission to be in town after dark. So, so very sad.

I will be forever grateful to Juliet for providing me with so many amazing opportunities.

I never put much belief in the concept that there is a God watching over everything, meting out help only to certain people who prayed hard enough.  If this were true, then why do bad things happen to good people? To test us? I don’t think God is that cruel.

So are we just pin balls bouncing around our world?  In some ways we kind of are, but with the big caveat that by our actions toward others we can help create a much better world to be bouncing around in.  We may not be masters of our destinies, but I really do think we have the power to form a good path for our lives to follow.

But sometimes for no apparent reason our lives will fall onto a very difficult, rocky road.  Instead of belaboring why this has happened, I think the right thing to do is work to make the best of the situation either for ourselves or by helping others.  And yes this can be very hard and sometimes things do not go the way we want them to and things continue to get worse.

But I firmly believe that how we make the trip and live our lives is far more important than any end result.  The beauty truly comes from the efforts we put forth, not necessarily the finished product.

Instead of focusing on the selfish, immoral actions of a few people, I choose to celebrate the caring, loving, selfless actions both large and small that so many people make every day that makes this world a better place. Look at all those amazing young kids who are doing great things to raise money for the poor or cancer research or even animal rescues.  And how about the people who are donating their kidneys and parts of their livers to help others in need?  And on and on and on.

I am humbled by all of these people and their actions.  What have I done??  While it is smaller than donating a kidney (I don’t think anyone would want mine anyway!), I believe being there to help others in their time of need is hugely valuable.  When we do this, the bad things in life seem to shrink down and become more manageable.  And at the same time we become much better people by our actions that we take to make things better for others.

While believing in God and praying can create a good solid base for your life, I think what really matters most is not how hard you pray but how you act toward and for others.

That is a great expression – “Time heals everything.”  In this humble reporter’s opinion (to quote the late, great Howard Cosell), it kind of does and it kind of doesn’t.

Time alone certainly doesn’t heal some illnesses (like cancer) but I have found it does work wonders for softening and eliminating memories of having been done wrong by someone or some other slight.  Not only does fighting a life threatening illness put things into a rather harsh perspective, but so does time.

I will be the first to admit that when you are younger, this is hard to believe.  At that time things seem so much bigger and worse than they eventually turn out to be.  I think that is in part because of our abilities to (mostly) take whatever bad things have been handed to us and then work to make the best of it.  And it usually takes time and perspective to see and understand that.

And this is what makes it so important to “be there” to help others as they struggle with whatever bad thing has been handed to them.  Very, very few of us can work through the big negative things in our lives without some help.  I have always believed that life is a team sport.  Sometimes you are the one needing help and sometimes you are the one helping others.

At the end of the day on this road of life, that is what really matters most.  Were you there to help others?