Nancy just reminded me that in another week it will be sixteen years since my first stem cell transplant (using my own stem cells) at Duke. Wow! Not bad considering at the time they said I would be lucky to get three years.
I was initially diagnosed in early April with a full blown case of Multiple Myeloma – nearly 85% of my bone marrow had been taken over by the Myeloma cancer cells. I then went through seven months of aggressive treatments to beat down my cancer to the point when I could have a stem cell transplant.
During my treatments I wore a small pump under my business suit that was pushing timed doses of chemo into me; all the while I was still working as the Executive Director at Virginia Opera. I remember sitting in Board meetings not letting on that anything was wrong and thinking how surreal it all was.
Even though the treatments were pretty intense, fortunately I managed them fairly well and never missed much time at work until November and December when I had to go to Duke for my transplant. In hindsight, even that went well. I mean it knocked me out and I had a few close calls with infections, but by early January I was back to work. I wasn’t at 100%, but I managed.
Unfortunately I returned to a rather unwelcoming work environment. The founding Artistic Director at the Opera did not like the fact that prior to my illness I would stand up to him and say “no” to his capricious and often volatile whims on how the company should be run. In fact I learned that while I was at Duke, the Artistic Director used that opportunity to tell the Board the company could not afford to have its Executive Director die on them so it would be best to let me go.
As a result, on my first day back at work our Board President (who was a good guy) took me out to lunch and informed me that the company would not be renewing my contract when it expired. Also, they had determined that it would be “confusing” to the staff to have me continue in my position knowing that I wouldn’t be staying with the company so I should just stay away from work until my contract ran out. Welcome back!!
I was crushed. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. And needless to say, I was very angry at the Artistic Director for his underhanded way of doing things.
But a couple years ago when I was in the hospital dealing with my Leukemia treatments I had a lot of time to think about things, including what happened to me at the Opera. I realized there was no point in carrying my anger at the Artistic Director along with me. It wasn’t helping matters and it certainly wasn’t healthy for me. I came to understand that it was the Artistic Director’s issue, not mine. It was incredibly “freeing” to let that anger go, like a load of rocks had been taken off my heart.
So November 20th is always a bittersweet day for me. It was the day of my first transplant and is considered a person’s “birthday” because the transplant process brings you close to death then back to life again with the infusion of your stem cells. While it marks a very difficult time in my life, Nancy, my family and I all consider it a day for celebrating. And who can’t use an extra birthday?